Picture this. It’s a gorgeous spring day and the weather is perfect, the best yet after an endless winter. The bright sun beams down on your shoulders. You step out onto the warm back deck and have a seat on your favorite swing. Rocking back and forth you breathe deeply taking in the fresh air. The faint sound of music hums in the background. Resting your hands on your round belly, you feel a kick and smile. You’re glowing. You haven’t felt this well in a long time. You even forget about the endless mornings you spent hovered over the toilet in your first trimester. Two white doves soar overhead in slow motion, just like in the movies. Nothing can ruin this moment, nothing…
Then, SMACK! A shopping cart slams into the side of yours sending you first-class back into reality.
You’re feet ache and you’re sweating. It’s Sunday and you’re stuck waiting in the express line at the grocery store. We knew your picturesque delusion couldn’t last forever.
“Sorry about that ma’am,” exclaims a middle-aged gentleman. ”Whoa, you’re HUGE!”
“Thanks,” you say shaking your head.
Finally, the line moves forward as you see the cashier. An older looking woman that reminds you of your aunt.Nothing to worry about here, she’s a woman (obviously), probably even a grandmother. She gets it. No, she spends the entire time telling you how she barley gained weight during all five pregnancies, and urges you to ask your doctor about your weight.
Stunned, you glare back at her. This is my life.
Typically, things don’t bother you, but everywhere you go these days EVERYONE has something to say. You just want to be left alone, especially after last week when a total stranger tried to rub your belly.
Belly rubs aside, here are five things you should NEVER tell a pregnant woman:
1. You look like you’re going to pop!
Translation: You’re as big as a house!
2. It’s just your hormones.
Translation: You’re cray cray.
3. Are you sure you’re not having twins?
Translation: It sure looks like you’re having twins…maybe even triplets.
4. Wow, you ate a lot!
Translation: You just ate enough food to feed a small army AND you want pie?
5. Enjoy (blank) activity while you still can.
Translation: Your life is over.
Don’t be rude! Normally, you wouldn’t say these things to someone who isn’t pregnant, so don’t say them to someone who is. Would you go up to a total stranger, tell them they are fat and rub their belly? I didn’t think so…
Everyone is different, and everyone responds differently to their pregnancy. You are bringing another human-being into this world after all so just worry about you, your health and most importantly your baby.
It’s a shame, people forget what they should say.
People should mention the overwhelming amount of joy you feel when you first see your baby. The sense of relief when they are brought safely into this world, and the unsurpassable amount of love that you instantly have for them. The only three things that really matter.
Melonie, I love your article and your bio. Thanks so much for sharing The Five things you should never say to a Pregnant Woman, & Three you should! (Hope I got that right!) Now, if we can only get these wise words into the hands of those #!&@! who need it most!!! — AND, sadly, I do in fact still remember one of the worst things anyone said to me while pregnant with Wyatt 15 years ago! Can your next article be about how to let go of hurtful, thoughtless comments?!!! Thanks 🙂
Hi Jenn! Thanks for the kind words. I didn’t forget about your request. I have a follow-up blog in the works. Stay tuned!!!
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