I have always been of the mindset that it is better to have a few solid, loyal friends rather than a large number of fair-weather friends. As I’ve gotten older, I believe this to be even truer. I consider myself lucky that my closest friends and I have been a tight bunch for well over a decade. (In fact, my best friend and I have been going strong since 1991! #areweold?) But parenthood changes everything, including friendships. Take a cautionary trip down the Google rabbit hole, and you will find countless articles about how babies can cause the demise of your once strong friendships.
Mama’s, I’m here to SQUASH this lie! Becoming a parent has enriched my life in so many ways, INCLUDING my friendships. Being a mom to my daughter is my greatest blessing, and it has been made even more special because several of my best girlfriends and I had children within a year of one another.
Going through this new stage of life together has only strengthened our bond, but of course, mommy-hood has changed aspects of our friendship as well. Let me break it down for you:
- Besties before baby – LET’S TALK OMG – he’s so cute! If we were each a Spice Girl, who would we be? Did you hear what so-and-so is doing now? Are these gaucho’s cute with my cropped sweater? (NO.) Did you see that train-wreck on the latest episode of The Bachelor? I hesitate to call us superficial, but before babies, many of our conversations centered on somewhat trivial topics. There’s nothing wrong with a good old-fashioned gossip session, especially amongst your best friends, and pre-babies we had our fair share.
- Besties after baby – Gab-fests have now turned into regular discussions about our children’s bowel habit, commiserating over sleep regressions and witching hour woes, and asking one another the burning questions we need answers to… Is this weird thing that’s happening to my body actual totally normal? (Yes) Will parts of my body ever go back to the way they were pre-baby? (Let’s hope so) Will I ever pee alone again? (Maybe in 5 years).
- Besties before baby – LET’S PARTY Unbelievably, our nights out used to START around 10:00 pm (LOL). We enjoyed tearing up dance floors with our less than stellar moves, staying out until the wee hours of the morning, dressing up for many theme parties, partaking in bachelorette party shenanigans, and generally being silly and ridiculous. In short, we had FUN.
- Besties after baby – Making plans can be tricky when a tiny little dictator AKA your baby is ruling you. Sadly, most of my good friends do not live close to me, so planning weeks (even months) in advance is a must. Our “nights” really begin in the day time, with dinner being in the early 5:00 hour. Our parties now consist of going to the park, ordering dinner in, and watching our babies interact with each other as we oooh and ahhh over how cute they are. It’s undoubtedly a much tamer kind of fun.
- Besties before baby – LET’S GET REAL I’ve always admired certain things about my friends: she’s a good cook; she’s killing it at the gym; she’s doing so well at work; she’s got great hair. Because we’ve been friends for so long, we’ve seen each other through so many milestones. We’ve celebrated graduations and new jobs together, went on getaways, helped each other through breakups, loss, and heartbreak, toasted engagements, and stood by one another’s sides on our wedding days. I’ve always been grateful to have my friends and knew they were special women.
- Besties after baby –The level of respect and admiration I have for my friends now that we are parents is ten-fold. Seeing my friends, in some cases those I’ve known since we were children ourselves, step into this nurturing role fills me with pride. My friends are not only kind, talented, dynamic women, but they are also selfless, loving, compassionate mothers. They all work full-time jobs and are dedicated to their families while continuing to cook delicious meals, staying faithful to working out, AND having great hair. They live full, rich lives as wives and mothers while still pursuing their own goals. Simply put, my friends are rock stars at mom life.
Sorry Google, I refuse to believe that having a baby means my friendships have to suffer. I know that I am so fortunate to be at the motherhood season of life alongside my closest friends. Our post baby lives sure do look different, but I’ve gotta say, they are so much sweeter.