It’s been 7 years since I had that magical moment of taking a pregnancy test to reveal those two pink lines and confirming that there was in fact a major change coming in 9 months. The first time around I was 23 and ready to face it head on with optimism and joy. Now at 30, I know what to expect and my mind is already a swirling mess of things to come and wondering how to maintain the life we currently have to the best of my (and my husbands) ability. Not to mention my first pregnancy was rough, so thinking of doing this all again but at 30 was kind of a nightmare. And to be honest, it’s a nightmare that’s coming true as the week’s progress.
I’m not one of those happy go lucky, glowing and radiant pregnant people. I’m the constantly nauseous, irritated, zombie-like pregnant people. I basically hid from the world when the nausea started for about 3 weeks. Getting my daughter to the bus stop and back each day was a miracle, especially if I didn’t puke or dry heave through the entire ordeal. I also lived on straight liquids for over a week because solids were a no go. Luckily, after trying a combination of home remedies, meds from my doctor and letting my crazy hormones run their course I’m back to nearly functioning “mombie” status.
The other aspect of this situation that has me a bit on edge is the age gap. Compared to my friends, I had my daughter young (ish) and was up doing midnight feedings while seeing their late-night Facebook statuses about what bar to go to next. That’s right I said “next bar”…at midnight(!)…can you imagine doing that now?! Anyway, those night owls I just mentioned have babes of their own now, and tend to keep the age gap between kiddos at a minimum (less than 2 years or so). So here I am, with my almost 7 year old about to have a new baby…God help me. For so long it was just her and I against the world. And if we’re being honest I was DONE having babies until I met my husband. So, it became a habit for her (and I) to reference her as my “only” baby. Well, now that’s no longer true and she’s made it well known that while she’s excited, she’s also a little down about it too. At the end of the day, she’ll always be my baby regardless of how many babies I actually have. Plus, she and I have an amazing bond and she’s truly my “mini me”. As long as we keep reminding her how awesome this and how great she’ll be as a big sister things will settle down and she’ll be just as excited at the rest of us.
For now, I’ll be welcoming my second trimester with open arms, as this is the time things begin to settle down hormone wise and levels out a bit. It’s also when the fun begins like finding out the gender and getting my baby shopping fix in. It’s also the magical time you go from looking like you ate one too many tacos to actually sporting the “cute” baby bump before the monster bump that emerges at the end of pregnancy. All in all, I think I’m going into this prepared for the new baby but also learning as I go when it comes to integrating this new babe into an already existing family.
But I think it will be okay. Actually, I think it will be awesome.