Consider this a public service announcement about Whole Foods on a Friday night.
1) It’s not the Friday night grocery shopping that you do in yoga/house pants. It’s a jazz band playing meat market – in the most literal sense. Say a prayer that the stock boys make it out unscathed ’cause the cougars are on the prowl. My middle child made a comment “that lady ( literally petting the guy handing out cake) must really like cake!”.
2) If you thought a toddler was bad with the little carts, you have not been the sober one with small kids AND small carts dodging the SWI people. Yes, shopping while intoxicated is a real danger, people! Get a cup holder for your wine! One hand on the cart, one hand on the wine while turning to talk to the gaggle of your shopping crew is frightening to watch as I come towards you.
3) A plea to the SWI patrons… Please don’t stare at my child and laugh as she’s having a melt down as if it’s the entertainment of the night. Yes, you may have been laughing with empathy like
“oh…remember the days we shopped sober with our kids?”
However, parenting in public is hard. Like really hard. Don’t put more pressure on me as a parent. Smile a smile that says we’ve been there. But don’t have your ENTIRE table stop and stare.
Thank you,
The sober mom in very un-public pants.