Do you ever wake up and think to yourself – “Do I have to?”
I do – and rather frequently. I mean I love my job, family, friends, life…. But I am tired. As a mom we are constantly working around the clock. Whether you stay home, or go to an office or place of business; we all work all day. Then we must work again ALL night.
Mealtime is one of the most stress-filled, exhausting times of my life. I am never sure how it will go. Prep. Either it’s a lot or a little pending whether you play the – “you’ll eat what I make or don’t eat” game or not. Drinks. Water, juice, milk, pop or nothing. Nothing is often where I end up, mainly because I forgot and I’m not getting up again. Reaction. Sometimes this goes over well – other times you may as well have put a pile of grass with mud in front of them. Even if they have NEVER tried it before they already know they are not going to like it.
Well I play the “eat what I made or go hungry” game and so mine will give it a try.
85% of the time I get a “yum” or “oh, this is good” or something of that nature – I want to look at them and say “DUH!!!!!” but that will just get me yelled at by my 5 year old for being mean and my 3 year old will just copy me – not good! At least now that my kids are a little bit older I get to eat my food at the proper temperature. I remember when they were much littler I would eat hot food cold to warmish and cold food at about room temperature. At times that plate of grass and mud didn’t sound so bad…and it would be much cheaper. On the upside, it trains you to be willing to accept anything as long as it has calories and taste of some kind.
After dinner comes THE activities. Ranging from mommy and me something, sports, dance, scouts, music, swimming, etc. And just when you think you don’t need these activities because you are just too busy, some other parent, who spends their time mindlessly running to and fro, reminds you that you have to get your child involved or they will be behind! And the nights when these organized (ish) events don’t occur, there are play dates, playground adventures, walks, bike rides, trips to the store, and much more!
Our evening job doesn’t end there…
Now its bath, teeth brushing and PAJAMAS time. I am super lucky and my kids truly enjoy this time of night. Which I am beyond grateful for. However, there are some nights when chopping off one of their legs may be easier than this routine (okay, that might be harsh)! But I have never heard such horrible screams while water gently falls over my child’s head. The temperature is perfect, I am blocking all bubbles from entering the eyes, and I am even gently counting so they’ll know when it will all be over. Once out of the shower of doom – it’s time for pajamas.
I am not sure if they think the jammies will suck all the life out of them, but getting them on sure sucks all the life out of me occasionally.
After a book, or two, or seven, a song, a kiss, a hug, another kiss, another hug….one more kiss and a final tuck in….or maybe one more kiss – I get to leave them in their room. YAY – right?! WRONG
Now it’s time for dishes, laundry, catching up on emails, playing a little Words with Friends, chatting with the husband, maybe texting a few friends, putting the dishes away, flipping the laundry, watching a show or two, folding the laundry, wiping down the tables and throwing all the trash away!
Just before all this is when I ask again – Do I have to?
Yes – Yes I do – Why? Because this is my life. And when I lay down at night to finally fall asleep – even then my mommy duties are not over. I think of my children, recap on the day and make sure I made all the right choices. Think about the things I didn’t do so well and how I can improve. Then, because I am me, I put together a mental action plan at how to be better tomorrow – including some light dialogue (yes with myself) to ensure I am making the correct choices. Finally, finally, I fall asleep and what do I dream about – my children – playing, having fun, being amazing – Oh, and sometimes dying (yeah I know I’m a little nuts – whatever).
But in the end, when I wake up tomorrow and those happy little faces tell me they love me and give me a great big hug (hopefully – because the other option is for them to hide under the covers and tell me to go away) – I remember my answer.
Do I have to?
Nope, but I sure want to!
So, tell me…am I the only one who feels this way???
This is quite true! And I have to constantly remind myself that I’m not forced into the exact life I’m in.,. But it’s my choice, and I GET to do these things. I GET to be challenged to grow and figure it all out. I GET to learn how to prioritize (the little hand marks on windows are way down on that priority list, whereas reading our 29th book of the day takes the top). I GET the reward of creating a cool, responsible, and grateful human.
But it’s freaking hard, and I’m totally ok with that.
I think what moms struggle with – especially new moms – is trying to get ‘back to normal’
Ok new moms, I’m breaking the news here. You’ll never be normal, the sooner you accept this fact, the sooner you can soar and not feel like it’s a fight.
Your new normal is crazy awesome!
P.s. Thanks for the tip on counting when rinsing a kids head. We are still bath mode only but that tip is now in my arsenal. Thank you!
Awesome Blog Trisha! I needed this today. After watching Journey (3) eat dirt, scream like someone was beating her and crawl on the bathroom floor at the Rec. Center I felt like my “mother of the year” badge had been ripped from my cape. The fun filled day beginning with watching my older girls play volleyball & soccer was RUINED! After reading this I felt ready to sew that badge back on my cape & continue with the fun day. Thanks for the encouraging words.
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