10 Things Your Husband Wants to Hear From You
I asked my husband this straight up, he’s a dude’s dude so I just have to be blunt. “Babe, what are the top 10 things you want and need to hear from me?”
He paused, then smiled, then nodded his head, and paused again with a huge grin on his face.
“What?” I said…knowing exactly where he is going in his head with this question. “Be honest.”
The reaction was of course typical. The first thing he wanted to hear was, “I want to ___ you.”
Ya…I guess I set that one up on a tee for him.
I prompted some more, “OK…and what would number 2 be?”
“Well, I think numbers 1-8 would at least be sexual. Does that count?”
“Hm, sure. Ok then what else would make the list? We can work on revising your list later. Do you need to hear I love you more, or I’m proud of you more? What do you think?” (Clearly I’m asking leading questions..I’d make a terrible attorney).
“Ya, ya those are good too” he says.
…Such a dude. So simple, and such a one track mind. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE the fact that my husband is so into me still physically, but I was really looking for some deeper insights. This saga went on a couple of days, of me trying to pull out of him what he needs to hear and I didn’t really get much. So that made me wonder…
…maybe that stuff IS what he needs to hear.
A man’s ego is quite a bear to deal with. And sex definitely plays into it no matter how rational or sensitive they may be. Sex is literally NOT an option for a lot of moms…physical issues from baby, being over-touched with clingy kids all day and just needing some space, hormones that make you not be able to be in the mood, lack of sleep, feeling like we have everything on our plates. LOTS of reasons.
But gosh, for me…I NEED for him to try and communicate more, for him to give me gentle sweet hugs, and look into my eyes while taking a moment to pause making me feel loved, appreciated, and safe. I need to hear certain things, and I have to explicitly tell him what to say. Which he works on, thankfully.
Men (this is a vast over-generalization here!!!!) need physical touch and testosterone surges and yes, sex (or anything along the spectrum). They need to feel needed and wanted. They need to touch your butt when you climb into bed, even if you’re going right to sleep.
I used to get really frustrated and straight up annoyed at the constant asking, constant insinuating, constant buns-touching. But if that’s what he needs, I can at least not get pissy when he does it. He might not get any more action per say, but at least I don’t have to put up a defense every time. If I’m asking him to try and give me the things I need..I can at least try to do the same for him.
I’d LOVE to know what your men come up with when you ask them this question:
“What are the top 10 things you want/need to hear from me?”
And p.s. Sorry there is no actual top 10 list here 🙂
Despite the lack of a top 10…this one made me think. Thanks! 😉
Ha, ya sorry I did not deliver on the top 10 here since I could never get a real response from him. I’m trying to flirt with him more this week…we shall see!!
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