Do you Back Plan? {A Secret Weapon for the Perpetually Late!}

0

A few years ago, my husband teased lovingly about my tendency to run late to… well, everything. Now, we tease each other a lot, it’s part of what makes our relationship work, but this one hurt. Probably because it was true. Not just true, but it was true and it wasn’t something that I liked about myself. I’ve never been an early bird, but with the addition of children who need stuff and bring things and lose everything, I started to either show up 5 minutes late feeling like it was a win, or not show up at all because I couldn’t bring myself to show up 30 minutes late to something.  While I was giving my husband the subsequent frosty treatment for pointing out the truth, I decided to sit down and look into some strategies. Visualizing, scheduling, organizing my purse and diaper bag the night before, blah blah… but there was one that made so much sense.

Back planning.

If this is new to you, you aren’t alone. It was a brand new concept to me, too! And once I started to implement it- GAME CHANGER! It didn’t require me to change a lot, just to think differently, which is why it was so easy to put into place.

So here was my old way of planning: Around 9:15 I’d start washing my face and getting dressed(it only takes me 30 minutes to get ready, of course). Playgroup starts at 10, and it’s at a park about 10 minutes away so as long as we’re ready by 9:50 we should be on time! And I’d get to the park about 10:20, with fussy kids who had been grumbled at for running late the whole way there, no snacks, looking a mess, and leaving the park early because we needed to find water and a potty. It was taxing, and left me feeling guilty for the way I acted to my kids, guilty for being a shabby friend, and guilty for feeling guilty because, you know, sometimes we get mom guilt over mom guilt! I don’t think I was much fun to be around, and I credit the people who stuck with me through this for being legit good friends. 

With back planning, you break it down to the nitty-gritty, real-life details. It requires you to be honest about what takes up your time as you try to get out the door. Account for the things we usually take for granted-shoes, seatbelts, etc. Here’s an example of how that morning plays out differently for me now!

Playgroup starts at 10, which means I want to be in the parking lot at 9:50 so I have time unbuckle car seats and get out toys/stroller/put on coats, and walk over to the park, and back to the car because I forgot to lock it (you know you do it, too) and back to the park again. It’s a 10-minute drive, that means I need to be backing out of my driveway at 9:40, so I need to start loading car seats at 9:30 because I can never find my keys right away. The kids need to use the toilet before we leave, so that’s 9:25, and I need time to fill water and grab snacks, so 9:15. It takes a solid 10 minutes to get socks and find shoes for both kids, so 9:05, and 45 minutes for us all to get dressed since the kids still need some help. That means we need to be done with breakfast and going upstairs to get ready by 8:20. That’s almost a full hour earlier than when I used to start getting ready! And you know what? I get to places on time! Not outrageously early, I’m generally right on the money and prepared, not sweating, and not yelling “HURRY UP” over my shoulder at my kids. We enjoy our time out more, we enjoy our company more (and I bet they enjoy us more, too!) and we get to more places because I don’t end up throwing in the towel because we can’t get out the door.

Is being on time life altering? Not really. Actually, maybe it is for me. I’m able to relax more, and that’s always fantastic. I yell less at my kids, or, at least, less regarding getting ready (I still yell about the number of Lego Duplos I step on every day) because I’ve allowed adequate time to debate the merits of wearing the stained dinosaur shirt versus a collared button down before church. My husband and I squabble less when we are going somewhere important because when he and the kids are ready to leave, I, too, am now ready to walk out the door even if it means I delegated some of the prep work to him-it’s hard for me to let go of the control there. I still fail daily in many areas of parenthood and life in general, but when it comes to arriving on time, I’ve finally got it-mostly- back planned out.