As a new mom, I’m learning quickly. I’m learning the days of having a clean house and finished to-do-list are over. I’m learning how to survive on no sleep and ways to style wet hair. I’m learning how to balance: balance my marriage, balance my career, balance my housework.
Most of these were on the list of warnings I received when I was pregnant. Some have been hard and others have been harder. But one thing that has surprised me about parenthood so far is the uphill battle of balancing friendships.
My best friend from high school, Lindsay, just had her second baby. My roommate from college, Taylor, is days away from delivering her first. And I’ve had to postpone plans with them both this month.
There’s nothing more I rather do than hang out with Taylor in her last days of non-motherhood or snuggle Lindsay’s fresh little baby girl. But like I’ve been learning, baby comes first and life happens. Sickness happens, car trouble happens, exhaustion happens.
Thankfully, my girls are understanding. We know we will see each other eventually and this isn’t the end. But that doesn’t make it any easier for the mom stuck at home.
1) I’m learning how to rely on them from afar.
Much more than before, I’m turning to them for advice on breast milk, skin care and recipes. I’m looking to them for funny jokes and remember whens to get me through the day. But mostly, they are my go-to girls to get my hormones in check. I can count on them to laugh at my kid with me or weigh out the pros and cons of more serious matters. Motherhood can be a lonely venture but these girls make sure it’s not for me.
2) I’m learning to let our relationship continue to evolve.
Life changes will always shape our interaction – like when I had to stop sleeping on the couch in Taylor’s apartment to move in with my husband, or when I had to buy a house two hours away from Lindsay for my husband’s job. But, growing up together is part of the fun. From boyfriends to marriage to kids, I hope I end up in a nursing home with these two. These may not be the good ol’ days like we remember but these are the good ol’ days we’ll soon remember.
3) I’m learning to make time for each other a priority – because it has to be.
As I’ve learned from my short 4 months as a mom, time will escape just as fast as you let it. If it wasn’t hard enough to match up schedules before, now it’s pretty much impossible. But we plan months ahead and set plans in stone so we know we value each other. Time spent together gets us through the next few months we’ll spend apart.
While life will continue to get busier with growing kids and growing families, I know these girls are there for me. I hope they know I’m there for them. Our friendships have evolved to require more patience and more understanding but have also yielded more love.
Just like high school boyfriend drama or college…boyfriend drama, I am always going to be on the other end of the phone and just a short drive away. My kid will just be screaming in the background or sleeping in the backseat.
Here’s to more canceled plans, hormonal talks, and inevitable life changes.