A Final Farewell To “First” Moments

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Well friends, the time has come, to say goodbye. To say so long to those final “first” moments. The ones where every parent patiently waits for their baby to smile, coo, roll over, crawl, etc.

On June 14th my baby girl turned the ripe old age of 1. She is our last baby and I won’t lie in saying that a part of me is struggling with this fact. Every milestone has been a celebration, followed by mourning that never again will I be watching and waiting for those little baby moments. I won’t have a newborn in my house that needs fed every three hours. We no longer have a need for an infant swing or bouncy seat.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m loving every single new moment with her and my older three, but the finality of those baby moments are hitting this mama hard.

Five years ago, after having our twin,s the time came to stop having babes. Not that I didn’t want more babies, I just couldn’t handle going through fertility treatments again. The hormones, needles, poking, and prodding. The extreme disappointment with each negative test. Also, the fear of having another set of multiples was real. One set of twins, ok, two not so sure. (Shout out to those mamas in that boat!!!)

We decided no more medications, no more needles. If God saw fit to give us another child then great, if not we felt ok with that. We never thought that five years later while taking birth control I would get pregnant on my own. Or that this pregnancy would bring complications. My placenta was in the front rather than the back. If my placenta was too low and attached to previous c-section scars a total hysterectomy would be needed immediately after delivery. Then gestational diabetes. Thankfully this little miss delivered without major complications, but it was clear my time of having babies was over. This babe would be our last and I took steps to ensure this.

In the finality of this little one being our “last” I’m trying so hard to remember every sweet baby moment and allowing myself to mourn the end of our baby years. Happy Birthday my last little baby. I can’t wait to watch you continue to grow.