The Chore Wars

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I remember chores growing up. Epic battles with my two younger brothers about who’s turn it was to wash the dishes and who wasn’t washing the handles of the silverware even though I had to dry them. I also remember that doing them wasn’t an option. My mom would say that our house didn’t need a dishwasher. We already had three perfectly good ones!

I always knew that when I had kids, they would do chores, too. And they do. They also continue our family legacy of epic chore battles.

We started them early just like all the parenting sites said to do. From simple things like setting the table and picking up toys to making their beds and running the vacuum, we made sure that our kids understood the importance of doing their part. 

Then we moved to a small hobby farm and the chores got a little more intense. In addition to their normal ones, the kids fed livestock, cleaned out coops, and weeded the garden. As with any chores, some were more fun than others. Giving a calf a bottle and teaching baby ducks to swim are not your average chores, and the kids were eager to be involved with them.

Then they hit the preteen/teenage years, and all hope of continuing those enthusiastic reactions went out the window. These days, just asking someone to take the dog out or do the dishes results in a chore war with kids slinging excuses like arrows. The cacophony of, “I did it yesterday!” or, “Not my turn!’ is deafening. It almost always results in me yelling some ridiculous threat like, “No one is allowed to use a dish in this house ever again!!”

Very helpful!

Here are three tips for dealing with chore battles that stop short of bribing or threatening and help in a more peaceful tidying up of our house.

  1. Let them decide – No kid wants to clean a toilet. However, I found if they have a say in the chores they are willing to do, odds are they won’t complain quite as much about the ones they aren’t.
  2. A little cleaning, a little dance party – I know cleaning is a lot more fun for me with some Bruno Mars or Meghan Trainor blaring through my wifi speaker. So let them pick music that works for them, and most importantly, gets them working.
  3. Striving for perfection – Other than dishes, most chores in your house do not require inspection level perfection. As the song says, let it go. Do show your kids the right way to complete a task. Don’t go crazy when it’s not perfect every time.
  4. Thank them – We all know that keeping a house in order takes work. Wouldn’t we love to be thanked for all that we do every once in a while? So go ahead and tell your kids (and your husband) you appreciate their efforts. Maybe they will get the hint and send some praise your way, too!

My mom friends tell me that someday I’ll miss these times. I will wish I could hear them whining about taking out the trash. Maybe they are right. After all, hubs and I will soon be doing all these chores ourselves with no one to yell at but each other!