That is the new question that I’ve been saying A LOT lately to my son. It beats the before. Envision this…
We are getting ready to leave the house and all the chaos that brings. I ask my son to go get his shoes and put them on please – normal voice. He proceeds to do anything but getting his shoes, so I ask again – normal voice. He continues to not get his shoes. I ask again – louder. He starts whining; he can’t do it and falls to the floor because this is impossible. I feel the anger bubble boiling inside of me – which I’ve labeled the Mommy Monster – starting the third time I had to ask and I try so hard to keep it in, but this continues on for a while until it can’t be contained. Then. Watch. Out. The Mommy Monster boils over and there’s yelling for him to get his shoes and get them on now. Sound familiar?
I don’t like Mommy Monster – she’s not pretty.
So what did I do about it? Well, one day, while Mommy Monster came out – yet again – I realized after the incident that I didn’t want to keep doing that anymore. It wasn’t getting him to get his shoes – or do any task – any faster; and it always ended with him, and usually me, in tears. Enough was enough.
This is where my new question to him comes in. Whenever I ask him to do something and he doesn’t do it – I ask again. I also always use please at the end because we expect him to do that, so I need to as well. I digress.
We get to the third time and that’s when I ask the question: “What am I asking you to do?” It’s in a normal, calm voice. Usually, that leads to him repeating what I was asking followed by him doing it.
Now, there are days this does not go as smoothly as I just indicated. It’s a work in progress. However, when he isn’t able to say what I’m asking, I ask him what he did hear. Then we go from there. Sometimes I repeat what I asked and then ask him to repeat it right away. I don’t have an exact way it works, but I will say Mommy Monster comes out A LOT less and he is doing MUCH better listening and being able to repeat what I asked.
What tips do you have to get your kids to listen and do what you ask of them?