It seems like the word either brings great joy or jangled nerves. If you are a 30-plus American male, it’s probably on your list of family-free hobbies. And if you are a Mom, likely you stay home with the kids while your guy goes for that 18 hole mystery game. It seems like very few women – and Moms especially – go golfing. Why is that?
Well, I’m going to speak from experience here. (My husband, my brother and my Dad have all golfed for years.) I had always been secretly interested in going too. It just looked fun to me. But I couldn’t make myself go. I was too worried that people would stand there and laugh at me while I missed the ball and hit myself with the club. Or while I missed sinking a putt 7 times in a row. I didn’t have golf outfits, I’d look like a dummy out there. And while driving the golf cart always looked fun, what if I steered it into an oncoming shot? There were just too many variables and I couldn’t bring myself to go. But I was so jealous anytime my husband went.
Fast forward a few years. I really cannot tell you why, but I woke up one day and just decided to stop living in “fear” and to do what I wanted, regardless of how people would view me. Golfing was pretty high on my list and so I asked my husband to take me, just the 2 of us. Well, let me tell you, I dressed in my regular clothes and wore my favorite sporty flip flops. I had never even driven a golf cart. I got up to drive on the first tee. I missed the ball – more than once. I hit the ball, and it barely bonked along, rolling 10 feet away. And the strangest thing happened. No one cared! Everyone else golfing was there to have fun and to do THEIR best. And no one cared that it took me 12 shots on a par 4. And I HAD FUN! By hole 12, I even got a Par.
I finished the course ridiculously over Par, of course, but the world didn’t end and no one laughed at me. I had just spent several magical hours with my guy. I was hooked. The next time we went golfing, it was on a Par 3 course – and let me tell you- THAT was fun! You see, a Par 3 golf course has shorter distances to the holes. So if you are like me and can hit your drive a whopping 50 yards, you still get to the hole in just a few shots. My first-ever Par 3, I even hit a Birdie (1 under Par!!!).
I found that golfing, the thing I was afraid would make me feel inferior, actually makes me feel good about myself. I love to hit a great shot and no matter how many times I have already hit, sinking a putt is superb. Yes, I still shoot really high. Yes, I use my driver and my putter and that’s about it. No, I have no clue what most of those other clubs even do. Sometimes I give up and carry my ball closer to the hole before trying to putt. But I have fun.
It’s not “fun” like watching my kids enjoy their life. It’s fun that’s strictly about me and what I want.
So I am giving you the best bit of advice I can when I say: forget about your insecurities. Dress in whatever you have. Go play a round of golf. Forget what the score “should” be and just have fun. I promise you, it’ll make your husband look at you all over again. Not as the mother of his kids, but as the spunky, fun girl he started dating.