My daughter Ella-Grace and I have a strong bond. When I leave the house there are tears and when I come home there is always a celebration. I literally feel like a superstar when I come home and am the key float in the parade. Leaving the house always pains me with guilt. Mommy needs those couple of minutes to get stuff done and take a deep breath in order regain my composure so I can be the best mommy possible.
I do not always feel like I am winning as a mom, but who better to ask than the person I am a mommy to. Keep in mind Ella-Grace was asked this question when she was calm and things seemed to be going her way. I have received the “I hate you. You’re the worst mom ever” comments when she is upset. Here is what she had to say about me:
She works hard.- She loves kids.
- She gives me hugs and kisses.
- She tucks me into bed.
- She plays games with me.
- She says goodnight.
- She lets me have candy.
- She laughs with me.
- She lets me play with her jewelry.
- She takes me places.
These wins are not over the top. These are things that I do on a daily basis. Mom wins do not have to be over the top. Every time we spend time with our children we are rebuilding and deepening the connection we have with our children. These connections come into play when children are misbehaving. We set a limit, the child pushes it (because that is what they are designed to do) and we deliver a consequence. When we couple that consequence with compassion, “You were hoping to get some candy and mommy said no. That’s hard but you can handle that,” we are more likely to have willingness the next time. We do have moments in this house where things do not run smooth and the connection has been lost. During these times it is important to mend the connection so that willingness follows. Have you ever tried to ask someone, you do not know, to do something for you? They typically look at you like you are crazy. When you have a relationship with someone they are more likely to be helpful. It is the same with children.
In order to see your own mom wins it is important to build a connection with yourself. Often times as moms, we place everyone first and tend to forget about ourselves. Find some way to strengthen that connection with yourself. We are more likely to see the things we do well when we feel more confident and connected with ourselves.
Ella-Grace wanted to say one more thing about her mommy… “My mommy loves me.”
To me that is a mom win. The fact that my child knows I love her is my biggest win. That tells me that I am in some way doing my job as a mom. I might not always do things the way I should or do them perfectly but my child knowing how much I love her celebrates me as a mom.
We challenge you… right now, ask your kid what he/she thinks you do well as a mom. Share your #momwin in the comments!
