My daughter is napping after a day of celebrating a huge milestone, she turned one! It is her day, but I can’t help but be incredibly proud of myself! When we started this journey it was such a wild, scary, and overwhelming moment. A difficult birth resulted in an emergency c-section. I was tired, broken, injured, elated, delirious…you get it…I was handed a tiny human to raise, care for, love, feed, etc. and absolutely no instructions on how to do so! Let me repeat…no instructions.
I was sure I knew what to do after all I had worked in a day care and I had raised a dog for 12 years. Let me take a moment to say that neither of these two things combined could have prepared me for the next 365 days. Thankfully, we have mommy instincts that kick in! Two days later home we went and our new life began. Diaper changes, breast feeding (so much nursing), outfit changes, healing, driving with a baby, napping, bedtime and numerous other life altering lessons.
One day at a time she and I achieved tiny goals we “graduated” from one new level to another and we found our new normal again and again and again. I began to realize that if I listened hard enough she would show me the way. I opted to stop “making” something happen and be guided by what she was capable of and slowly a since of normalcy was established I became comfortable with our daily routine changing daily. I was certainly more tired then I have ever been but I was far less anxious. She may have been small but she certainly knew what she needed, so I just did that! Our life was becoming comfortable and manageable.
Then one day somewhere around 8 months we had a few routines that didn’t change and we were better able to go to story time, baby yoga, to the park, grocery, and farmers market…we were functional members of society again and we were having fun!
I can honestly say I have never worked so hard at anything in my life, and I have had a lot of jobs. Being a mother is by far the most intense experience I have ever had. This year has been the true meaning of something taking your blood, sweat and tears to accomplish. But I can sit back and look through the 1000s of pictures I took over the year and I can tell you every single moment, I was there, I did that…I made this little life and I cared for it and grew it into this little human! So although the cake and candle are hers I certainly, although quietly, celebrate my accomplishment as well…my perfect, healthy, awesome baby girl!
So to all those mommy’s out there zoning in on that milestone…don’t forget to pat yourself on the back for a job well done!