When Legodad and I set out with the tedious task of starting a family, we decided that we would be completely honest with our kids from the beginning when they asked questions. We knew it would be hard, but we wanted them to know they could trust us with any question. We would answer honestly, no matter what. We didn’t really realize what that would entail as they began to get older.
For example, just recently the Doolittle Raiders were here in Dayton and we were talking with our oldest Legoboy about why this was an event and what it was an anniversary of. Which led to a discussion of World War 2 and Pearl Harbor. He is smart and asks the questions that get right to the point. He wondered if Ohio would ever be at war with anyone and what would happen if we got bombed. Hard questions to answer with real honesty, but we did. I can see that his sweet little heart is jaded a little bit each time he learns of something new in his world that is hurtful or dark. I know that he would learn all of this ugliness and sadness eventually, but I am not convinced that we need to do it right now.
Down the road, when he asks personal questions about sex, God, marriage, alcohol, drugs, etc. Are we prepared to answer those just as honestly? To really know the answer, I have to remind myself why we are doing this in the first place. We want him to have an unwavering trust in us. We want him to never have to question a word that comes out of our mouth. We want him to know that we understand what it is like to be a kid growing up, to not know the answers, to mess up and not know where to turn. We want him to know that in those moments we are here for him, always. Even though telling him the truth about this stuff right now, may seem a far-fetched path to get there, we hope it is at least setting the ground work.
That’s all we can do with this parenting thing, do it with love and then hope.