Real Mom Confession: I Don’t Love My Body

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Alright, mommas, brace yourselves. I’m about to admit to something that isn’t going to be a very popular truth: I don’t love my postpartum body. There… I said it.

If you take a quick glance around the internet, you’ll find plenty of wonderful essays about self-love, accepting your body as it is, and the beauty of its abilities. I don’t disagree with those things, in fact, I absolutely believe that the female body is something to behold, but please just don’t hold mine.

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The truth is, I want to love my body. I really do. But right now, I don’t. I could lie and tell you that I’m fine with the extra lumps and bumps and weight I’m carrying around because this body has produced two perfect little humans, but the fact of the matter is that I’m incredibly unhappy. Beneath my smiles and laughter is a woman who is insecure about her inability to lose this weight, and you know what? I’m finally realizing that it’s ok to feel this way.

It has literally taken me months to admit these truths. Once I did though, a metaphorical weight lifted from my shoulders. I realized that it’s ok to be unhappy and to want a change. After months of calorie counting, disappointing weigh-ins, and clothes that still just won’t fit, I finally picked up the phone and made an appointment to talk to my doctor. I still don’t have all of the answers yet and I’m still not in love with what I see in the mirror, but I cannot even begin to describe how happy I am to have taken the first steps toward a happier, healthier me.

So, why am I risking criticism and admitting something so deeply personal? Well, honestly, I’m hoping that at least one person can read this and think to themselves, “Wow. This is exactly how I feel too.” And maybe, just maybe, instead of feeling, even more, guilt for not loving their own bodies, they’ll finally take those first few steps just like I did to get some help in becoming the healthy and happy person that they long to be.

8 COMMENTS

  1. If it makes you feel any better, I hate my pre-partum body…. You are one of the most positive, beautiful people I know but we are all allowed those days when we hate everything about ourselves and want to burn the pictures from college that remind us how we no longer look like that. Its not fair when you’re body isn’t responding the way you want it to and I think you’re on the right track seeking a doctor’s opinion. I know first-hand that hormones can affect your weight (and sanity) and if those are out of whack, it’s super frustrating. Just be patient, keep looking for answers, and things will fall into place. Let me know if I can do anything for ya!

    • Thank you so much, Ashley! Your words seriously mean so much more to me than you know. It’s pretty humbling how even if just one seemingly minute hormone within our bodies is “off,” it can have such a huge impact on so many aspects of our health. I know you definitely know this first-hand. Hopefully we can both find the answers we need in time.

    • Thank you, Mallory! I was really hoping that this would resonate with other women. It’s always comforting to know that there are others walking right along side us in these journeys in life. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!

  2. Thank you so much for writing this! I’ve been really unhappy with how I’ve looked/felt since about 7 months into my pregnancy, and that hasnt’ changed (my daughter is currently 4 months old). The couple of times that I’ve mentioned being unhappy with my body, people are so quick to say “No don’t say that!”, and then some version of “your body is amazing” or “curves are beautiful” or “your body is perfect just the way it is”. It’s like I’m not allowed to be objective about my body, or in touch with how I feel about my own body. I’m glad to hear that I’m not the only one 🙂

    • Thank you, Catherine! I think so many of us feel this way but it is really hard to talk about because, like you said, well-meaning people are very quick to dismiss the way we feel towards our bodies. You are absolutely not the only one 🙂 and it’s ok to not be ok… I hope that you’re able to eventually find your own path to happiness too!

  3. Thanks so much for sharing this! I, too, have always struggled when people say that what our bodies go through is totally worth it. It’s true…100% worth it, but I still don’t always love it. I really appreciate your honesty and willingness to share.

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