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Postpartum Sex: Searching for my Groove

I’d be willing to bet that at some point during our pregnancies, we all heard stories about women who enjoyed toe-curling, mind-altering sex while pregnant… that their senses were heightened, their hormones were raging, and they wanted sex ALL the time. Yeah, that wasn’t me. Not even close. Not even a little bit. Can I get an “amen?”

After my first child was born it took me a little while to get my groove back, but once I did, everything seemed to go back to normal and I found myself enjoying sex once again. Unfortunately, my postpartum experience following the birth of my second child has been an entirely different experience. Here I am over a year postpartum and, by and large, I want very little to do with it. Yep, that’s a problem. A big problem.

You see, my husband’s love language is touch. Always has been, always will be. Combining his need for physical intimacy with my complete indifference to it is, quite frankly, a recipe for disaster. While I can honestly (and luckily) say that he is a very patient man, even patient men have their breaking points. When weeks pass and I’m oblivious to the fact that we haven’t had sex, arguments ensue. He always assumes that it’s because of something he has done wrong, while I get frustrated trying to explain for the hundredth time that it truly has nothing to do with him. My hormones are still out-of-whack and my deep dislike of my postpartum body make sex a very undesirable thing for me. Stripping down and baring it all is a stark reminder of how uncomfortable I am in my own skin now no matter how many times he tells me I’m beautiful.

So, ladies, how do we overcome this? How do *I* overcome this? I wish I had all the answers. I really do. For now, all I know is that it’s just going to take time. I’m working towards feeling comfortable in my body again and I’m learning that I just need to be more open and honest with my husband about this journey that I’m on. Waiting until arguments about sex erupt never results in a productive conversation. My hope is that in time this will all come full-circle and I’ll be able to report back to all of you on any progress that’s been made. Until then, if any of you have suggestions or tips that helped you to enjoy postpartum sex again, please let me know in the comments!

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One Response to Postpartum Sex: Searching for my Groove

  1. Audrey December 5, 2017 at 11:49 am #

    I feel like I go through periods where I hate my older, post-babies body too and the best thing for me is actually to force myself to initiate sex during these dry spells! The way my husband still enjoys my body and looks at me gives me the confidence I needed. And touch is definitely my love language so it makes me feel all tingly in love too. I never-ever regret it after I start it! Lol…
    Good luck on balancing the ever-changing lover/mom cycle! It’s a tough one!

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