Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

Postpartum Sex…hahahaha

Post Partum Sex - hahahah!

You’re all moms.  You’ve all let that modesty fly out the window during labor and delivery for darn good reason.  So let’s not be shy when it comes to this topic…

There is one thing that got you into that labor situation, SEX.

Trying for that first baby is filled with giddy flirting and genuinely fun sex.  If conception gets delayed, it becomes a chore, but hey its sex!  Or you head to in vitro and do it that way.  Either way, as some point sex was probably amazing.  Or at least fun after date night and a couple of mojitos right?

 

Only 1 week after Cooper was born, we are still hearts and roses here…

Well, then baby happens. Amazing, sweet, soft baby – all hearts and roses!  If you had a vaginal birth, you know that things down there won’t be quite the same but you can deal.  What doesn’t get talked about is SCAR TISSUE!

Ok, so after healing up from a mild to moderate tear after the birth of my son, Cooper, I went in to my midwife for the usual 6 week check.  I had just a couple stitches, not too bad in comparison to lots of women I have seen and friends I’ve talked to.  I said “it still feels kind of …um, thick.”

 

 

Her response, “Oh ya, that’s just the scar tissue formation.  You’ll just have to bust through that when you guys have sex for a while.” 

 

WHAT?!?!?!  Excuse me?   Scar tissue…really?  Once the stitches dissolve, there is scar tissue.  And I have to “bust through it” when we start having sex again.  WHAAAAAA?????

 

I. Was. Dumbfounded.  Here I am with my medical background, all this knowledge, having delivered lots of babies during rotations, had advised women on postpartum care, I did a zillion hours of research…and I had never came across (or paid attention to) the fact that I may have SCAR TISSUE in the walls of my VAGINA after this baby.

 

OK.  I’m over it, I promise…

I was just not cool with this fact and delayed having sex for the first time after baby…until about 8 weeks.  HA!  8 weeks was a joke, the darn thing wouldn’t even get close to fitting in.  And I was in serious pain just trying.  OK, scratch 8 weeks, let’s try again at 12 weeks.

HAHA again!! This time I got smart and had probably a bottle of wine before attempting this little game we call sex again.  Wincing in pain, then tears, then nevermind I can’t do this.

This saga continues for another few months,wine…lube…courage…tears…frustration…blue…you get the point. It took me 6 months to ‘break through’ that scar tissue and to not be in serious pain. And another 6 months to start relaxing and go with the flow (which helps too!).

Now we are pretty great! Cooper is 15 months old and I don’t even think twice about having sex. I am thankful my husband is patient and kind. I just wanted to give a couple of tips if anyone is struggling with the postpartum sex saga.  I desperately hope your recovery is amazingly easy…but if its not:

1.) Don’t skimp on the wine.

2.) Don’t skimp on the lube.

3.) Tell him if he moves a muscle, he dies.  You get to make all the moves here.

 

, , ,

7 Responses to Postpartum Sex…hahahaha

  1. Lisa Houseworth May 7, 2015 at 10:08 am #

    Umm… this my be my favorite blog ever!!! Thanks for being so honest on what can be such a ‘taboo’ topic!

  2. Kate
    Kate May 7, 2015 at 9:29 pm #

    It’s just the truth :/. I know from talking with my girlfriends – this is not uncommon. Thanks for the support Lisa!

  3. CS July 9, 2015 at 3:31 pm #

    One thing that ladies might want to consider is pelvic floor therapy. It is just a routine part of postpartum care in France and other European countries. While it’s normal for things to be sore and for scar tissue to take a while to heal down there, 6 months is a long time. Physical therapy can really help deal with these issues sooner rather than later. If there was one piece of advice I’d give every mom, it would be to get a pelvic floor PT referral from your doctor first thing after delivery. It helps with sex, lower back pain, incontinence, and many other issues!

    • Kate Kennard
      Kate Kennard July 29, 2015 at 1:06 pm #

      Wonderful, wonderful advice!!! My stubborn doctor self is highly unlikely to go to PT or get any form of help when I certainly should – its just the truth, docs make the wooooorst patients. I wish someone would have urged me to do so!!! That’ll be on my must suggest to new moms for them to get from their doc. Thank you CS!

  4. Madi July 28, 2015 at 4:48 pm #

    Haha! This made my day! Our son is 6 months old now, but this was such a battle for us until recently. Thanks for making such a rough topic so humorous!!

    • Kate Kennard
      Kate Kennard July 29, 2015 at 1:13 pm #

      Madi,

      I feel ya babe. Such a battle and you want to be rearing to go…but you’re just not even close. I really liked the suggestion from CS above and it may be just the support you need to get some peace in the netherlands. 😉 Happy 6 months to the little guy!

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. What I really want to write in your baby shower card… | Dayton Moms Blog - July 8, 2015

    […] 3. You’ll likely have scar tissue formation in the walls of your who-ha. Sex is NOT an option for way longer than you think, that’s normal, don’t sweat it. First check out this article & email me if you have further questions: Postpartum Sex…hahaha […]