According to ” the real world” I have officially been adulting for more than a decade at this point in my life. Nonetheless, if I were personally evaluating my performance, I would say I was wildly misguided for at least the first five! I had a very naive, albeit adorable vision of what it meant to be an adult: Beautifully prepared dinners made by my hubs and I while giggling and flirting in the kitchen, tidy house, dog, career, well groomed (and well behaved) children, travel & leisure, etc. I like to call it my pre-reality period. I was full of magazine worthy ideas, without any real experience of how to produce them. These are some of the harsh truths I have gathered over the years.
Scrubbing Bubbles Don’t Actually Scrub & Other Various Cleaning Myths
In my early adult years, I actually believed the cleaning products would perform as advertised! I had no idea how difficult it was to clean a window without leaving streaks, that dishes never end, nor that someone had to actually CLEAN the disgusting shower drain. The magic scrubbing bubbles did NOT rid the shower drain of hair. Ewww. And the beautiful meals delivered to the table? Someone has to clean the kitchen promptly thereafter. How am I expected to do that after enjoying the quintessential glass of wine paired with my meal!?! Adulting disappointment number 1.
Pants Are Important
Of course we as a society should have the common sense to consider that pants are required. Hence the no shirt, no shoes, no service signs. Somewhere in our history, we as a nation assumed that we knew pants were required. For many careers. And when leaving the house. But I advise you to really, really take this one seriously. You should also wear audience appropriate pants for pick up or drop off, because it is a cosmic law that you will have to make a public appearance, (in front of respectable people) if you are wearing pajama pants, that may or may not have a hole, and that may or may not have pictures of kittens on them. Pants. Are. Important.
Staff Meeting Etiquette 101
It is not advisable to groan in pain nor squeal with delight in reaction to professional development announcements. (In my defense, my usual audience at any given time is approximately 28 emotionally charged, squealing, groaning hormonal 14 year olds. Somedays, they manage to dull the shimmer on my adult shield of armor.) You should also read, thoroughly, all emails prior to this meeting, and please, oh please, DO NOT be the person who asks THAT question… and makes the rest of us stare longingly at the door. You are between us, and either freedom, or the pile of work waiting back at our desks. Think before you speak!
Vomit: The Recurring Nightmare
I suppose I always knew all animals, big or small, were capable of regurgitation. I understood it was a fact of life. How did I so severely underestimate the force, projection, and persistence of its odor? Adulting Disappointment No 123: Pet ownership is not always glamorous! Did you know that when a dog gets sick, it usually occurs multiple times? Or that you are probably pre-destined to step in it while on your way through the house in the dark? (You can never remove that sensation from your memory ) Did you also know that sick children WILL puke ON YOU at some point in your parenting venture? I was lucky enough to be in an elevator on the way to the doctor, so I got to change into the free scrubs provided by the kind ER staff. I hope for you clean clothing is nearby as well. Did you also know, that if/when one vomits in the car, it will continue to revisit. Warm summer days are a lovely reminder that vomit can hide INSIDE the door, window, buttons, carpet, etc. You have been warned, because as an official adult, guess who is responsible for clean up!?!?!
Old Dogs Really CAN Learn New Tricks
This one is certainly my favorite. Carpe Diem adult friends. Although the journey of life is full of oh so many twists and turns, you get to be the driver! You make the choices, and you endure the consequences. You want to become a runner? Do it. Career change in your future? Why not?! Did you decide to become a DIY Decor master? Kudos to you! You are the literal master of your own adult universe. There are certainly some advantages to this whole adulting adventure. Be sure to exploit them- and to wear pants when you do!
Any Adulting Ah-ha’s You Want to Share?
