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MeTernity vs Maternity

ME-ternityBy now I’m sure you’ve heard about the women who would like to get maternity leave even though she doesn’t have children. She calls it Me-Ternity, because in her mind maternity leave is a glorified vacation postpartum women have to gain clarity on life and the pursuit of happiness. As with most moms of America this article got in my craw. Who is this lady and did she never babysit as a kid? The idea that those of us that choose to have kids are it in for the freebie life of leisure is bull sh*t! Sure, there are the moms who can afford the necessary staff to create the village it takes to raise a child, but for the other 90% of us moms, we are getting by on a fried nerve and coffee.

I ask you Madame Me-Ternity, how often do you shower? Before I had kids, twice a day. While on maternity leave and after kids, twice a week. (If you’re reading this and we have a meeting today. Today was TOTALLY shower day!) Have you ever visited someone on maternity leave? Women have that time to battle the postpartum battles hormones create. We’re battling anxiety, depression and the underlying fear we’re totally screwing up a new human in an un-fixable way.

What really got me on your article was that you’re mad a mom leaves work on time to get their child, and that should equal you leaving to get drunk with a friend and talk about a bad date. First, adults can be left alone and should be well adjusted enough to ponder said bad day until you get there, while children can’t! Second, that mom that had to leave at 6pm, probably felt guilt starting at 6am. She knew her male and childless colleges would judge her. I’m guessing she didn’t think she’d end up sparking a novel of the injustices of women in the work place. She probably barely got to practice in time to pick up her child, then was treated to a scolding look for being the last parent there. Then she stressed about getting dinner, homework, bath time and bed time done and do it all while not being judged.

You see Ms Me-Ternity. Moms operate their lives at a level 8 internally.

Mom life isn’t just about balancing home life and work life anymore. No, it’s about balancing the way judgment makes us feel.

We’re judged for feeding our kids fast food vs organic. We’re judged if our child has a tantrum in public. For letting our bodies go. We’re judged for formula vs breast milk…or worse for pumping vs exclusive breast feeding. For being late because we’re cleaning up child vomit for leaving 5 mins early for a Dr’s appt. For working, for not working or for working from home. And now, we’re forced to defend our rights to recover from childbirth!!

I do think that men and women need to get more time away from work. We do have a very worker bee mentality. A paid sabbatical for all, would be awesome..oh wait, that’s called vacation time, and we do need more. What I hope you do with your next paid (or unpaid) vacation is volunteer. Volunteer with a single mom as a nanny for a week and then come back and tell us all how un-deserving moms are.

While I want to say thank you for setting the women’s lib movement back 30 years, I’ll leave you with this. You must have had one hell of a mother! The goal of any mom is do it all, and do it all flawlessly. You grew up to become a very successful woman with memories of your mother’s job being that of sugar plums and ease. That is all moms are trying to do. Have it all, while giving our all to our kids, jobs and life with as little judgment as possible.

How do you feel about Me-ternity time?

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One Response to MeTernity vs Maternity

  1. Monica Deal May 3, 2016 at 11:31 am #

    Freaking Awesome Response! So very very true!