Parenting Without Expectation

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ParentingRaising children to become adults is by far the most frightening challenging job a person can be called to do. Being responsible for the people your children become, knowing that they will either contribute to or take away from the overall success of society is terrifying. All of the pressures of social media to be the “perfect” parent only further drives that fear. Whatimage if you fail? What if you try your very best and your children still choose an unfortunate path? I let this fear overcome me for a long time.

I finally decided that all I can do is my very best and I have to leave the rest up to them – to make good choices, to be their personal best. I can lead them and give them a good base to start their life on, but I have to be willing to allow them to follow their own path without pushing my agenda on them.

When I get down to the truth of what I really hope for them I’ve found that its actually quite simple. I hope the boys are kind and gentle. I hope that they have their father’s work ethic and determination. I hope that they are spared my uncontrollable sense of worry.

I hope that they are honest – with others, but especially with themselves. I hope that my husband and I parent them in such a way that they grow up knowing that we are always there, always rooting for them and always on their side without us having to constantly reassure them of it. I hope they just know it in their hearts, as a part if their beings.

I hope that they are men of God – full of grace, mercy and forgiveness; both for themselves and for others.

I hope that when they finally get where they think they’re going, that they don’t stop… That they always keep striving for more. I hope they don’t settle, that their hearts are always ready for the next adventure. I hope that they look back at my husband and I and are proud to call us their parents.

But most of all I hope that they are who they want to be. Not who they think my husband and I expect them to be, not who society thinks they should be, but I hope they are themselves – exactly as they were made to be. Lord, help me not to stand in their way.