There are times in mother hood when we need each other. Like really need each other. After having a baby is one of those times. Maybe it’s the surge of hormones. Maybe it’s the tiny little human that is ever dependent on you. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep. Or likely it is the combination of all those factors that have us on edge and need of motherly figures to swoop in and save the day.
So what are the biggest things you can do to help a new mom? (And I don’t just mean a first time mom…you are a new mom every time a baby joins your family!) As a soon to be third time mom, I’ve learned a few tricks of the trade and will gladly share my wisdom and knowledge. And selfishly hope that you are all compiling your favorite recipes to bring to me come January.
Here is what a new mom really wants, but feels too guilty to ask for!
- Bring her some food:This is probably the biggest and most important! When you are chasing around other kids, keeping up with your breastfeeding baby and making sure the house isn’t falling apart, preparing dinner is the LAST thing you want to do. I’ll admit, I used to be a terrible new mom food giver. I’d either not do it or not do it well. Then I had someone provide us a glorious meal after baby number 2 and I saw the light on what a blessing a meal can be. Some general guidelines to follow: check to see if there are any dietary restrictions (I can’t eat dairy while breastfeeding with my babies); bring lot’s of food, enough that there are leftovers for lunch the next day; make sure the new mom wants to visit with you at drop off, sometimes a drop and run is much appreciated in those first few days.
- Provide two extra hands: Most moms are going to decline your offer to help out, not because they don’t need/want it, but because they are afraid to inconvenience you. If you’re a mom, you know though how amazing it is when someone comes over and wrangles all of your wild animals for you so that you can slip away and take a nap. Having a baby and the postpartum
daysmonths to follow are exhausting. At this point in the game, I have learned to accept help if it is offered (most of the time) because I know that in that moment a 30 minute nap could save my sanity. So offer to go fold some laundry, watch the kids or do the dishes. You’ll never know what a blessing those simple gestures can be to a new mom! - Provide a non-judgemental ear: New moms are, how do you say, fragile in those first few weeks after baby. Sometimes just being there to listen to her vent about how her husband overlooked the pile of clothes that needed washed, or how someone made a comment asking her when the baby was due, or the fact that her boobs no longer feel like her own is sometimes the greatest thing you can do. We know we don’t make sense post partum, we cry over silly things and we take things to heart way easier than normal, but we’ll get over it. We just need some support until we get there!
