Free-Range Parenting… Might Get Me Arrested

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The other day, I sat in the car and let my 11 and 9-year-old children take a package into the post office for me. They were adamant that they could handle it. I could see the door the whole time, and it took all of about 7 minutes. So why was it that I sat there, staring at the door, hoping that “nothing” happened? It wasn’t because I thought they weren’t completely capable of doing what I had asked/they wanted to help with. I was worried that some passing stranger would declare me an unfit mother and call the police. For whatever reason, letting kids learn responsibility is frowned upon now.

My children want to wait in the car while I run in the grocery store for 15 minutes. I am completely scared to let them do this because I expect to be called out for it. Called out for what exactly? Letting an almost teen and his sister sit in an unmoving car, with the doors locked, parking brake on and instructions not to open for anyone for any reason? My son is about 4 years from driving a car himself!

So why is it that I feel like I can’t offer my kids new and different and more challenging ways to mature if I’m out in public? Why is what was called “parenting” in the past, now considered an old-fashioned and grassroots kind of parenting? Is “helicopter mom” the person I’m supposed to be? I don’t want to be that mom. At. All.

I am proud of the fact that my children were doing barn work – feeding chickens and collecting eggs – at 5 years old. I love that they knew how to use our gas stove to make macaroni just a year later. Disappearing to the creek on our property (in pairs) without me? No Problem. By 8, I was leaving my kids home alone for a couple hours at a time. We have safety rules in place, of course, but I leave them alone on purpose.

All of these are just stepping stones to a future I’m planning for my kids: success.

I feel confident letting them make many of their own choices. I don’t hover over them when it comes to school. I don’t ask them each night if they have homework, don’t ask when every test is, and don’t “care” about their grades. You see, I don’t have to worry about these things because they are a responsibility belonging to my children. Yes, sometimes they fail a test and sometimes they forget to do homework, but this happens so rarely that it doesn’t worry me when it does happen. They know that next time they should study harder or make homework a priority. My kids are responsible. They can and do wash their own clothes and decide if cutting their hair and nails is something they’d like to do. I love this quality about them. I feel confident that once they leave their Dad and me, they will survive on their own, quite well. THAT is the true goal of parenting – to provide our kids with the tools to go out and live their own lives. I just wish society would lighten up on parents and let us actually parent our children.

Until then, this free-range Mama will give her kids responsibilities and experiences… and hope no one catches me!

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Audrey M.
Hey Ya'll! I’m Audrey, a middle of nowhere, East Tennessee transplant. My husband (and forever crush) Andy and I were born and raised in Ohio State Buckeye territory, where we met in junior high school and married halfway through college. We have 2 tweens here on Earth: Lucas-the sweetest jokester boy you will ever meet, and Alaina-a charismatic and responsible redhead. We were hoping for a bigger family, but it wasn’t in the cards for us. For years we vacationed here in and around Knoxville, and so when the opportunity came to move here, we took it! Prior to moving here, I was first and foremost a Wife and Mother, but filled my days at a special needs preschool, title company, and as a FT volunteer-a-holic. In my spare time, I love diy, crafting, reading and writing. And I will always be a barefoot farm girl at heart. We raise/grow our own food- and I occasionally even make dinner out of our homegrown goodness- but I hate cooking! I can’t wait to immerse myself in this sweet, southern community!

4 COMMENTS

  1. Pittsburgh mom here! Different cities, same patenting. I am raising responsible and compitent humans as are you!

  2. I agree 100%. Your children are young adults who know what is right and what is wrong! In addition by raising them to be responsible and make decisions you are freeing yourself from the added stress of hovering over them and double checking everything and every move. This allows you to have more relaxing and fun times with your children. When you are enjoying time together you are not fretting or worrying about homework, chores, etc

    • Sandy-
      I am lucky that I was raised by a village of great adults that showed me how to be a successful parent 😉

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